It is a time of freedom and fear, of Gaia and of borders, of many paths and the widening of a universal toll road, emptying country and swelling cities, of the public bought into privacy and the privacy of the public sold into invisible data banks and knowing algorithms. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
These are the times when maps fade and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread.
Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.
Saturday, November 02, 2002
Mother Davis throws up her hands in fear as she installs her clothes dryer.
On the page of instructions that comes with with my metal vent tubing is the following warning, posted prominently near the top:
DANGER You will be killed or seriously injured if you don't follow instructions.
The implications are staggering, of course. Who would have thought that organized crime had infiltrated the home appliances industry? Hey, I'm no hero. I'll follow the directions, and be prepared to be shaken down.
Quivering in fear like a lost little white rabbit,
Friday, November 01, 2002
Note to Jerry Falwell:
Just when you thought you had all those sexual perverts pegged, you find a new form of deviant. We want to warn you, Reverend Falwell, of a new sexual plague that is turning teenagers away from The Lord and into darkness: hedge fetishists!
This very morning, I received an email from NewStuff4you@hotmail.com with the following message:
"Find a partner for sex. This is the largest privet sex club on the net!!! with over 1,000,000 members on it. Here your fantasies come alive!"
As I'm sure you know, the privet is a deciduous bush used in hedges in the American South. It appears that a new breed of cultural miscreantism is striking at the very heart of God's Country, encouraging young people to engage in unholy acts of herbaceous copulation. Why, there may even be a "privet sex club" forming in your own neighborhood!
The time to act is now, Reverend Falwell. Call in the Boy Scouts! Demand congressional action! Insist upon a statement from Disney! Protect our wives and children from this horticultural decadence!
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Mother Davis rubs her sagging, sallow skin as she notes,
Halloween, in my opinion, is a much more profound celebration than all those over-hyped mid-winter holidays. My love of Halloween comes primarily from its merrily dark defiant attitude. Whereas midwinter holidays preach of the defeat of darkness by light and emphasize gaudiness and promises that will never be kept, Halloween accepts darkness as it is, and confronts it through mockery. Halloween looks at death and despair and laughs!
I think we Americans could do with an awful lot more laughing at darkness these days, and would benefit from an awful lot less self-seriousness about crusades against evil. The Halloween spirit celebrates creativity in the face of adversity, which is an awful lot more courageous than self-righteous caroling and tinsel, if you ask me.
Of course, you didn't ask me, but there you are.
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