It is a time of freedom and fear, of Gaia and of borders, of many paths and the widening of a universal toll road, emptying country and swelling cities, of the public bought into privacy and the privacy of the public sold into invisible data banks and knowing algorithms. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.
These are the times when maps fade and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread.
Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.
Louisiana Turncoat Alexander: Good Riddance
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Mother Davis comments as she turns her coat inside out,
Louisiana's extremist conservative Democrat Rodney Alexander has decided, just two days after filing for re-election as a Democratic congressman, to register as a Republican. In doing so, he dashes the opportunity of the Democrats to have a candidate for him to run against.
This smells of a backroom deal with the Republican House leadership, but no worries. The Republicans are doing the Democrats a favor in getting one of the least scrupulous, least principled, unprogressive of its members. What Louisiana really needs is a genuine Democrat who will stand up and speak truth to power instead of sneaking around making secret political deals.
Mr. Alexander should have done his homework before turning coat. The Republicans have a very poor record of leadership showing loyalty to Democrats who transform into Republicans. Typically, they're voted out of office in a primary within one or two cycles, because the Republicans decide that they can't trust such politicians. That makes perfect sense to us.
The only thing that Rodney Alexander has proven is that he can't be trusted. He may have cheated Louisiana out of its right to have a democratic contest to elect a congressional representative this time around, but in two years, it's clear that Mr. Alexander will be taking a quick trip out of office.
Looking forward to a fresher breeze from Louisiana in 2006,
Bush: Thinking of new ways to harm our country!
Friday, August 06, 2004
Said by George W. Bush in a speech celebrating his signature of a $417 billion military spending bill:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
Well put, Mr. Bush.
Bush leaves Statue of Liberty Closed
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
In a telling move, the Bush Administration has decided to keep the Statue of Liberty closed down. The Bush Administration will not allow anyone to enter the statue as long as George W. Bush is president.
Bush will allow people to visit the Statue of Liberty museum, or have their picture snapped in front of the statue, but the statue itself will be off limits. It's too dangerous, they say, although there is no known threat, terrorist or otherwise, that would put the Statue of Liberty at risk.
Maybe Bush is still miffed at the French. The Statue of Liberty was a gift from the folks in Paris, after all.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Another Bush Haiku, this one from Gina M.:
Ratings low for Bush
Tom Ridge has the solution
Threat Level: Orange
Will Ferrell Does a Bush Campaign Commercial
Will Ferrell in a "Bush Campaign Commercial".
New: Buttons and Magnets available at bulk discounts
For some time now, we've been making buttons and magnets in our homes and sending them out to you to help make the world a more progressive, less Bushy place to be.
I'm happy to let you know that we're now able to offer bulk discounts for the buttons (in batches of 10 and batches of 100) and magnets (also in batches of 10 and batches of 100). This is a useful option if you want to hand a lot of them out to friends, or if you're heading up a group or campaign that you'd like to do some fundraising for.
This Orange Alert Comes Three Years Too Late
On Monday, Tom Ridge of the Department of Homeland Security issued a special Code Orange alert, warning Americans that Al Quaida terrorists plan to attack prominent symbols of American financial power in New York City... symbols like, say, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.
Late Tuesday, Bush Administration officials admitted that "the bulk of this information is old", acknowledging that this Code Orange alert of supposedly imminent terrorist attacks is in fact based mostly on tips that are three or four years old.
Three or four years old... hmm... That puts this so-called "fresh" intelligence back in the months leading up to September, 2001. Hmm...
Put two and two together, folks, and it becomes clear. The Bush Administration is warning us about the attacks of September 11, 2001 - three years too late.
It's hard to say what's more pathetic - that the Bush Administration had this information three years ago and failed to act upon it, or that the Bush Administration actually believes that their super spies' delayed reaction is a new threat, and not just a long shadow of an attack that has already come and gone.
Of course, the Bush Administration might not be pathetic at all. The Bush Administration just might be rehashing old news in order to whip up Americans' fears just in time for the Republican Presidential Convention and Election Day.
Any way you look at it, this entire Code Orange alert is covered with dayglo slime.
Nader Cheats the Homeless, Blames Democrats
Monday, August 02, 2004
Mother Davis prepares to give her Corporate Stooge of the Year Award as she reports,
In his latest blunder, Ralph Nader has been caught cheating a bunch of homeless people in Philadelphia, and has been forced to run out of town in response. Nader, who said that he was going to run a grassroots volunteer campaign, had to resort to promising homeless people that he would pay them to circulate petitions for his candidacy.
The thing was that when several of those homeless Philadelphians went to the local Nader campaign headquarters to collect, they found it closed. The Nader people had closed up shop and skipped town overnight. Apparently, they left the rented space in such a dramatic state of destruction that the landlord is seeking financial restitution.
In response to the growing scandal, Nader's people promised to send the homeless petition workers checks in the mail. Of course, being homeless, most of these petition workers can't really receive mail, much less cash a check.
Financed by Republicans, cheating homeless folks out of their money, and still failing to get on the ballot in several states, Ralph Nader blamed it all on the Democrats. You see, Nader says that the Democrats were somehow responsible for his campaign stiffing homeless folks. It's all the fault of the two-part duopoly... liberal conspiracy... thing... um...
Wondering how much lower Ralph can go,
For Our Security, We Must Cancel Democracy
Orange Alert! Orange Alert!
Yes, citizens, that's right. We're on Orange Alert! If you listen carefully, you can hear the klaxons blaring in the distance. Somewhere in Manhattan, there are terrorists -- TERRORISTS! -- plotting to disrupt America's democratic process!
So our wise and noble leaders have declared this Orange Alert, in which Manhattan is now a security zone. Bags will be checked. People will be searched. Suspicious activity-types will be detained. Large congregations of people in the city will be of special concern. For our own protection, we must be certain that there are no terrorists hiding in such groups. We must shut those terrorists down for our own good.
Also just in: large numbers of unidentified individuals who, peskily enough, are not Republican (!!!!) are planning to converge on Manhattan at the end of this month. They SAY they are just travelling to Manhattan to use their civil liberties! They SAY they are planning to swell the streets of Manhattan in record numbers! So they SAY!
Whoops! There's an Orange Alert on. Haven't they heard? So, first of all, it is our government's duty to inform these "protesters" that if they plan to "protest" in Manhattan for the Republican National Convention, they're probably going to get blown up so they should stay home. Second, if a few stragglers insist on showing up, they will have to deal with "security measures" that will coincidentally keep them from gathering in large numbers and protesting near the convention.
It's all for their own protection. For our security, we will just have to curtail democracy a little bit. Oh yes, most certainly.
Orange Alert Not Politically Motivated!
Tom Ridge has issued a Code Orange warning just weeks after he pledged to stop using the color code terrorist warning system. Earlier, Ridge had said that the color coding alert system would not be used because of complaints that changes in the color code warnings were politically motivated to keep Americans' level of fear as high as possible.
So now, what are we to think of the current Code Orange alert, curiously timed to direct American's fearful attention to Manhattan's Financial District during the leadup to the Republican Convention? We can't say for sure that Ridge's announcement is politically motivated, so perhaps an honest look at what happened in response to all the warnings about terrorist attacks to take place during the Democratic Convention.
Were there terrorist attacks against the Democratic Convention? Oh, indeedly do there were! We didn't believe John Ashcroft, Tom Ridge and George W. Bush when they warned that terrorists would attempt to sabotage the Democratic Convention in Boston, but it happened!
There they were, armed thugs blocking easy access to people attending the convention, forcing people to be subjected to searches. These thugs seized control of America's airwaves, blaring warnings of impending attacks designed to blunt attention to the Democratic Convention itself!
They took over and used the power of the government itself in an attempt to scare people. These terrorists used fear as a weapon!
Of course, these terrorists were none other than Ashcroft, Ridge and Bush themselves, waging a public relations campaign designed to provoke terror in order to defeat their gathering political enemies. When it comes to these Republican politicians, warnings of terrorist attacks are self-fulfilling.
So, what should we do with the Republican's latest Code Orange alert? Given that there are no instructions for how Americans can protect themselves from the latest imminent terrorist attack, I say that we bind this particular Code Orange alert together and place it on the shelves, right next to more exciting fictions like The Bourne Supremacy.
Excuse me, I've got to go. I hear a little boy crying, "Wolf!"
Driving for Change
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Over the last week, we have taken a special political tour of the Eastern states of the United States of America. We have crisscrossed New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia, North Carolina, West Virginia, Ohio and Michigan looking for public signs of political activity (such as lawn signs, bumper stickers, banners).
The results of our survey are disturbing. Signs of Republican activity outnumber signs of Democratic activity three to two. It appears that the Bush/Cheney re-election campaign is extremely active, especially in the states of Delaware, Virginia, North Carolina and West Virginia.
The good news is that the displays of Democratic activity we saw were both more dramatic and more organized than Republican displays. Signs of Republican activity were monotonous, consisting mostly bumper stickers, and only including two designs, both officially spread by the Bush/Cheney campaign itself. The Democratic displays were much more varied in form and design, including a diverse range of bumper sticker designs from official and unofficial sources, spontaneous roadside gatherings of Kerry supporters, immense banners, and even large women's hats.
Another obvious pattern was that Kerry support was most concentrated within the Great Lakes territory, one hundred miles from the lakes or less. The good news of this concentration is that these areas tend to have a greater population density than the expanses to the south.
Our last day of this survey was a high note, traveling north on Ohio's route 75. From near the Kentucky border all the way up to Michigan, we saw prominent displays at almost every exit supporting the Kerry/Edwards campaign. Here was a genuine grassroots effort. It seems that this election will hinge upon the struggle between the heavy-fisted institutional politics of the Republicans and the agile, improvised tactics of inspired Democrats. The outcome of the election will be reflected in governmental policies themselves, in favor of the centralized power of corporate Republican supporters, or favoring the populist agenda of the more democratic Democrats.
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