It is a time of freedom and fear, of Gaia and of borders, of many paths and the widening of a universal toll road, emptying country and swelling cities, of the public bought into privacy and the privacy of the public sold into invisible data banks and knowing algorithms. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection.

These are the times when maps fade and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread.

Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.

The truth about Bush and Taxes
Friday, August 13, 2004

Bush tax cuts chart

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 9:57 PM# (permalink)
(0) comments

Porter Goss: I'm completely unqualified!
About six months ago, Republican Congressman Porter Goss announced that he was unqualified to get a job with the Central Intelligence Agency. "I couldn't get a job with the CIA today. I am not qualified," said Goss. He continued by saying, "I certainly don't have the technical skills, as my children remind me every day: 'Dad, you got to get better on your computer.' So, the things that you need to have, I don't have."

So, who has George W. Bush chosen to be the next leader of the Central Intelligence Agency? That's right, it's Porter Goss!

Bush has responded to the revelations of Goss's admissions of lack of ability by saying that Goss is "the right man". Hmm. What would it take for Goss to be the wrong man?

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 8:50 AM. # (permalink)
(0) comments

Dump Bush Lawn Signs
Thursday, August 12, 2004
We've sold out of our stock of dump bush lawn signs. But these folks have some.

Posted by Matthew Cook at 8:49 PM# (permalink)
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Dr. Bob Johnson for Congress
Check out the candidacy of Dr. Bob Johnson for Congress in the 23rd District of New York State. He calls himself a conservative, but it's pretty clear he's a conservative in the classic sense -- almost diametrically opposed to George W. Bush on issues of the war in Iraq, health care, the environment, and jobs.

They call him a long shot, but we understand "Dr. Bob" is working his heart out (it's OK, he's a thoracic surgeon) crisscrossing the northern part of the state and making the case for a single-payer health care plan, a new humbler foreign policy, and stewardship of the environment.

His opponent? John McHugh, who has been bragging about how much money he has in the bank. McHugh represents a shamelessly regressive approach to politics in his electoral arrogance and in his Congressional record.

For an alternative to McHugh, give Dr. Bob Johnson a good look. He's doing what he can -- but he could use your help to make a strong challenge in the North Country of New York State.

Posted by Matthew Cook at 4:25 PM# (permalink)
(0) comments

Fair Warning: Don't Get Burned in Hell!
Mother Davis smells a funny burning smell as she relates the following warning:

A earnest fellow named Chad sent us an email warning this morning. He's a really sweet guy who's trying to save our souls, and so we could not resist forwarding his email onto all of you fellow liberal sinners. Chad says (in divinely-inspired capital letters, even),


Oh, I admit it. I have a soft spot in my heart for sweet conservative softies like Chad. Such a nice boy! I'm glad he gave me the chance to repent my damned anti-Bush ideas before Jesus comes back to Earth and makes me pay by burning me to a crisp. Oh, but can I resist the hypnotic brainwashing of the demonic Gay agenda? Probably not. Oh well.

P. S.: When you see me in hell, you can recognize me as the nice old lady drinking a daquiri. Cheers!

Getting her fireproof sandals ready,
Mother Davis

Posted by Katherine Davis at 3:12 PM. # (permalink)
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The Washington Times and all its claims...
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
The Washington Times, a pro-Bush conservative newspaper, put a big juicy headline in this morning's paper, lock step in the Bush Administration's effort to stoke the fears of the American people. According to the Washington Times, Al Quaida plans to assasinate a world leader!

Augh! Be afraid! Panic! Chuck your freedoms out the window! Vote for Bush!

Of course, the Washington Times also held a special ceremony to declare "that Reverend Sun Myung Moon is none other than humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent." That's the mark of journalistic integrity, you see.

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 8:24 AM. # (permalink)
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Liberal Hunting License?
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
We admit that we don't like Republican policies, and we downright detest the agenda that country club conservatives try to push on America. But do we suggest killing conservatives? No, we don't, and this is one subject that we refuse even to joke about.

A few weeks ago, we received a graphic from someone who thought they were being funny. The graphic read "Kill Bush", and for some reason, the creator thought that we would like to create bumper stickers using the graphic. We said "No Thanks."

It appears that our equivalent among the conservative Republicans has not decided to take the same approach. A shop with the bland name Right Wing Stuff is issuing what it calls Liberal Hunting Licenses. Here's what their license looks like:

liberal hunting licenseSee, this license is supposed to give you permission to go and hunt down liberals, shoot them and kill them. Haw haw haw... no, it's just not funny. A license to go shoot and kill conservatives wouldn't be funny either.

It's telling that the official motto of this conservative Right Wing Stuff site is "Backhanding the Left into Submission." This is the difference between progressives and conservatives: We progressives are content to critique, prod, and sometimes mock our opponents. The conservatives at sites like Right Wing Stuff seem intent on breaking, destroying, and even killing their opponents.

We'd ask you to email the people at Right Wing Stuff who have created the Liberal Hunting License, but they're too cowardly to put an email address or other kind of contact information on their web site. So instead, we'll ask you to contact Cafe Press, the site that helps Right Wing Stuff sell these licenses to kill. You can let them know what you think about this conservative invitation to commit political murder, and they just might take the product offline.

Let's hope they do before someone decides to use it.

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 9:09 AM# (permalink)
(7) comments

Terrorists and Limousines and Helicopters, Oh My!
mother davis grandmotherMother Davis shivers in her galoshes as she reports,

Now the Bush Administration is warning us that, although they don't have any actual information that there is any threat of such an attack, Al Quaida terrorists might attack Americans using helicopters and limousines. Helicopters and limousines? What, would Osama Bin Laden use the helicopters to lift limousines over big cities and then drop them on the people below?

What's next? Attacks using garbage dumpsters and elephants? Come on, you Homeland Security agents: I'm ready to be afraid, so give me some specifics!

Sooooooo glad that the Homeland Security folks are on the job,
Mother Davis

Posted by Katherine Davis at 7:55 AM. # (permalink)
(0) comments

Conservative economists: Stagflation is here
Monday, August 09, 2004
What's the state of our economy?

The American Enterprise Institute, long known as a conservative think tank used by the likes of Newt Gingrich to push Republican agendas, has grudgingly admitted that the American economy is in the doldrums. John Makin of the American Enterprise Institute calls the outlook for the stockmarket "ugly", and says that "a whiff of stagflation is in the air."

For those of you who don't remember the 1970s, stagflation is the painful economic state of weak economic growth coupled with the inflation of the price of household goods. Apparently, George W. Bush got all mixed up and thought that he was just going to throw a stag party with his old fraternity brothers. Unfortunately, he stuck us with the bill.

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 12:41 PM# (permalink)
(1) comments

Liberals: In Good Company
A. Jones writes in:

"George Washington was a liberal. The conservatives supported the King.

Abe Lincoln was a liberal. The conservatives supported slavery.

Teddy Roosevelt was a liberal Trust Buster. The conservatives supported the Trusts.

John Kennedy was a liberal. The conservatives supported literacy tests."

Liberals: we're in good company!

Posted by Matthew Cook at 9:58 AM# (permalink)
(2) comments

Bulk Rate Pricing?
Good morning, folks! I'm writing up a story on (legally!) scamming the Bush campaign, and I need a particular piece of information that I just can't seem to find. Can you help?

How much does it cost to send a typical letter via the U.S. Postal Service at their bulk rate?

If you know, please add a comment below -- I'd really appreciate it.

Posted by Matthew Cook at 8:10 AM. # (permalink)
(0) comments

Bush Decapitates Self in Video
Sunday, August 08, 2004
In a new video just released on a militant Islamic website, George W. Bush is shown cutting off his own head. In the grisly scene, Bush continues to give a speech about the benefits of giving special tax giveaways to his rich friends, even after his head is completely severed.

Apparently, it's an impulse.

Posted by J. Clifford Cook at 11:24 PM. # (permalink)
(0) comments

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