Back in June of 2009, Newt Gingrich made a grave warning "We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism," he said. People laughed him off. Where were all these pagans Gingrich was talking about?
Today, a new map of what was once called North America was released, and it proves that Gingrich was right! Gingrich's vision has been vindicated. The United States is, in truth, surrounded by pagans!
Look, to the north, and there is the country of Paganda. To the east and west, we are surrounded by the Paganific and Pagantic oceans. To the south, there are the Aztec Pagans, the Gulf of Pagans and Paganzuela! All around us is Paganism!
It's the Red Menace of our times... except that these pagans prefer the color green, of course.
It's good to know that, as Newt Gingrich begins his 2012 presidential campaign, we can count on him to keep a firm grip on reality, and his priorities focused on what's really important. No other presidential candidate is doing anything about the pagan problem, after all. This issue truly sets Gingrich... um... apart.