Divine Origami

Gud, how do I make a fast paper airplane?

First, you take a piece of paper, then you fold it in half.

Then what?

Well, if you want to get fancy, fold it in half again. It won't be as fast a paper airplane that way, though.

Wait a minute. That just sounds like a paper square.

You wanted it to be fast, didn't you? I swear, some people are never satisfied.

I meant that I wanted it to fly at fast speeds.

Well, you know, what you're truly asking for is often not what you think you want. For example, last week a woman asked me for a next generation computer, so I made her pregnant.

But you knew what she really wanted, didn't you? Why didn't you just give it to her?

I did. That's the point! Don't forget that I'm omniscient. I've always thought that people are too literal when it comes to religious matters. For example, when I said, "Thou shall not kill" I was really talking about crop rotation. Well, I've decided to set an example in figurative interpretation. By interpreting people's requests broadly, I'll show them how to properly follow the word of Gud. After all, I speak in mysterious ways.

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