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The Ribald Reign of King George the Second

Political Haiku: Protest In Verse

Poor addled King George II. He can't seem to string more than three words together on his own. Sure, he can make it through a 12-minute speech with teleprompted words from his Royal Regents. But when George tries to think for himself, unfortunate phrases like "Natural gas is hemispheric" just pop on out. Americans are left to wonder exactly what's going on upstairs.

But sometimes less is more. Each pithy "Bushism" succinctly attests to the befuddled brain of our King in a way that twenty pages of neurological test results just couldn't do. And often the most stinging criticism is short and memorable, rather than lengthy and prosaic.

In short, the growing movement against the King needs some bon mots. So we've asked for folks to submit their thoughts on the election debacle in the form of haiku. Here are the results. It's amazing what a functioning brain can do, isn't it?

If you have a Bush Haiku you'd like to see here, send us an e-mail with "Bush Haiku" in the title.

Also take a look at our pro-Kerry haiku, for metered verse in praise of Bush's opponent.

He who tortures my
enemies is not my friend.
Torture is the foe.

Deficits blossom,
a tree of debtors' flowers
with no future seeds.

Saddam's "nucular"
weapons of mass destruction--
We might still find some!

Lost jobs, soldiers die.
Stay on course with losing horse?
Reagan he is not!

Shrub unites us all
Could never ever divide
Division too hard.

I own senate and
house of reprehensibles
how? strategery!

If all you have is
ignorance and confidence,
then success is sure.

If films fail, we know
not to see the sequel. Why
not so with leaders?

Hello John Ashcroft
Goodbye legal abortion
Here comes the right wing

Al got more votes, sure...
But that didn't matter much.
Bush won by cheating!

I am President
Daddy put me in White House
Pretty white White House

All "Hail to the Shrub"
That's what they tell us to do
But I'm unable.

President Dubya,
does it hurt to be so dumb?
Remember to breathe!

And the question is:
Der, Is Our Children Learnin'?
Sure. Just look at me!

What is in a name?
Dubya, Shrub or Blow Monkey
He's still dumb as dirt

Katherine Harris
Wallowing in make-up while
Democracy dies.

Ron Weasley lost out.
Scalia decreed our Prez
Is Draco Malfoy.

The poor president
is racking his small brain for
a suitable speech.

"A vote for Nader
is a vote for Nader?" Great!
You happy now, dick?

Too late to be known as
George the First, He's sure to be
Known as George The WORST!

what is the sound of
one bun flapping? A silent
republican fart.

Gimme alcohol
Gimme an electric chair
But votes? I don't care!

No brain, More Cocaine
Bush in the White House again
Gore votes were in vain

His name rhymes with disengorge: Check out the Ribald Reign of King George the Second
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