irregular guyThe Irregular Picture

This month's irregular picture:
homeland vacations funny postcard

This irregular picture is also available as a postcard. Send it to your favorite Republican!

Helcome to the Homeland (formerly known as the United States of America). Here in this homeland, brought to you by Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft and Associates (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Halliburton), the Homeland is a vast improvement over the old United States in a few very important ways:

  1. Here in the homeland, we guarantee that there will be absolutely NO evildoers to ruin your vacation!
  2. For your convenience, Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft and Associates have removed all those pesky civil liberties from the Homeland. Now, you don't need to worry about where to pack your freedoms. You don't have any!
  3. In defining the homeland, we've put up strong cultural barriers between REAL Americans and those Americans who are, well, dirty stinking traitors.

As you see on this map, the Homeland only includes Real America, and Florida, which Bush and Cheney had to force to come along. They wanted a recount, but Bush and Cheney didn't want to give up all those wonderful Florida beaches to the traitors. Would you?

We recommend that you skirt around the enclaves of weirdos in Santa Fe and the traitors in Austin. Minnesota, Michigan, Wisconsin and Chicago are being given over to the backstabbing foreigner Canadians. Stay out of these areas, however, and we can guarantee you a pure Homeland experience.

After all, John Ashcroft has investigated everyone in the Homeland who doesn't want to go along with the new Code Orange Regime, and shipped them off to the dirty stinking traitor colonies Out West and in the Northeast. What a relief not to have to encounter their opinions anymore!

Oh yes, the Homeland welcomes you, so long as you're the right type!

Our archive of irregular pictures:

View January's irregular pictures for an irregular view on Enron, pretzels and drunken driving.

Take a gander at February's irregular pictures for George W.'s plan to restore honor to the White House, as well as a fireside chat with the leader of the war against evil himself.

IRREGULAR TIMESYou can also check out March's irregular pictures to catch White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer's explanation of how Dick Cheney was too busy meeting big oil lobbyists to bother to talk with experts on environmental issues and to view the Catholic Church's new plan for abstinence education!

Then, there's always the very irregular picture of Bush as he tries to explain his plan for peace in the Middle East.

George W. Bush has become famous for telling big fibs about weapons of mass destruction. We thought it appropriate, therefore, to assemble an irregular picture that envisions what it might be like if Mr. Bush were as serious as about getting rid of the very real weapons of mass destruction in his own backyard as he was about getting rid of the imaginary weapons of mass destruction that he thought were way over in Iraq.

Then, follow your eyes as they flit over more irregular pictures found at the Follies of War

Be a thorn in the right side with Splintered Speech
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