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The Sexual Sermons of Pastor Robinson
What a Friend Jesus Had In That Teenage Girl

God works in mysterious ways, they say, but apparently God's priests on Earth get straight to the point. As an example, take Jay Virtue Robinson the Fourth, who is the pastor of the Southwood Baptist Church.

It seems that Pastor Robinson was getting a little too friendly with the little lambs of his flock. He was arrested by the police in Tarrant County, Texas - that's where Fort Worth is - on charges of sexual assault against a teenage girl.

The Lord saw fit to release Pastor Robinson on twenty thousand dollars bail. Did they put the Southwood Baptist Church into hock for that?

Pastor Robinson was so eager to spread the good news, as it were, that he would pick up his 16 year-old disciple from school and take her to his house, where he would minister to her needs and tell her all about the Rapture to come.

It wasn't just a blowing Holy Spirit Jay Virtue Robinson IV with which baptized this girl. She took him all the way to heaven. While he was telling her what a friend she had in Jesus, he was busy getting his little friend in her.

This same Baptist pastor had the audacity to preach that sexual fidelity within same-sex marriage is a sin. From what I can see, Pastor Jay Virtue Robinson took his girl to the chapel, but they didn't get married.

I would just love to hear Pastor Robinson deliver a seminar on sexual abstinence for teenagers. Where might that sex ed session lead to?

The devil made him do it. ("The Devil" is Pastor Robinson's pet name for... um... you know.)

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