A woman living in the town of Traunstein in southern Germany is claiming that a statue of the Virgin Mary that she bought as a souvenir of a trip to Poland is now bleeding from the eyes and arms, and has been almost every day since Good Friday earlier this year.
Blood has been found on the statue many times, and reporters have taken samples of that blood, but none of the people involved in making the supposed miracle known to the general public are willing to provide samples of their own blood for comparison. Still, the woman who owns the statue says that she simply wouldn't ever dream of creating a hoax.
She says that the Virgin Mary has appeared to her and given her instructions to speak out to the world about suffering. To comply with those wishes, the woman has spoken about the statue and how it appears to be suffering.
In related news, one of the little Fisher Price people that my infant daughter plays with also appears to have some red spots under its eyes. A crowd has gathered around the play table in our living room and has put in a call to Pope Ratzinger to call out for a special miracle inquisition squad to confirm that the spots are, in fact, blood.
My neighbors are beginning to call the little girl toy, dressed in green with blond pigtails, the Fisher Price Virgin. My son, who is five years old, says that the toy girl has spoken to him, and instructed him to tell me that we should have pizza for dinner tonight, and then watch a movie.
I told him that we were having chicken and sweet potatoes, and he stamped his foot and said, "No we're not!" That's the power of faith.