“Vote With Christ” — these billboards popped up around the country just before the 2004 elections.
Well, that’s a nice idea, but exactly how should we “Vote With Christ?” I mean, the problem is that we’ve got a secret ballot and everything, so it’s kind of hard to know how Christ is going to vote. We could ask Christ, I suppose, but Christ doesn’t tend to answer, I’ve noticed, and it might be a bit awkward. I mean, social convention already says we’re not supposed to talk about sex, religion or politics in conversation. The last thing I want to do is make Christ feel uncomfortable.
Fortunately, there’s a way to figure out how Christ votes: look up official records at the Federal Election Commission. It’s simple — just look up “Christ” under individual contributions, note to which party Christ donates more money, et voila! Read on and you will know how to “Vote With Christ.”
Here’s what I was able to find, friends and neighbors:
1. Alice T. Christ of Lexington, KY gave $250 to Ernesto Scorsone, a Democratic State Senator, on September 10, 1997. Running Tally: $250 Democratic Party, $0 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $250.
2. Anton M. Christ of Berkeley, CA gave $263 to the National Republican Congressional Committee on April 3, 2003. Running Tally: $250 Democratic Party, $263 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $13.
3. Athanasios G. Christ of Falls Church, VA gave $250 to the National Republican Congressional Committee on May 22, 2000. Running Tally: $250 Democratic Party, $513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $263.
4. Barbara J. Christ of State College, PA gave $200 to the John Kerry campaign on July 27, 2004. Running Tally: $450 Democratic Party, $513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $63.
5. Bill Christ of Minneapolis, MN gave $267 to the Democratic-leaning America Coming Together on August 21, 2004. Running Tally: $717 Democratic Party, $513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $204.
6. Bonnie Christ of South Bend, IN gave $500 to the John Kerry campaign on May 12, 2004. Running Tally: $1217 Democratic Party, $513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $704.
7. Brian Christ of Issaquah, WA gave $250 to the Democratic National Committee on September 30, 2004. Running Tally: $1467 Democratic Party, $513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $954.
8. Carol J. Christ of Fort Collins, CO gave $350 to the National Republican Congressional Committee on March 6, 2001. Running Tally: $1467 Democratic Party, $863 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $604.
9. Catherine A. Christ of Des Moines, IA gave $200 to the Republican Party of Iowa on November 13, 2003. Running Tally: $1467 Democratic Party, $1063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $404.
10. Charles Christ of Bristol, TN gave $500 to the John Kerry campaign on July 28, 2004. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $1063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Democrat by a margin of $904.
11. Chris Christ of Battle Creek, MI gave $1100 to John Schwarz’s Republican congressional campaign at various times in the year 2004, and also gave $700 to Republican candidate Nick Smith. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $2863 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $896.
12. Clarence A. Christ of Texas City, TX gave $500 to George W. Bush on March 24, 2000. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $3363 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1396.
13. Clarice Christ of Choctaw, OK gave $250 to Gary Bauer in his Republican bid for the presidency on June 08, 1999. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $3613 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1646.
14. Clifford C. Christ of El Monte and Glendora, CA gave $1500 to Republican congressman Duncan Hunter in 1999 and 2000, plus $500 to Republican congressional candidate Helen Delich Bentley on October 22, 2002. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $5363 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3396.
15. David Christ of Spencer, IA gave $500 to the Republican National Committee on May 4, 2004. Running Tally: $1967 Democratic Party, $5863 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3896.
16. David Christ of Chicago, IL gave $1000 to the Democratic National Committee on September 4, 2002, plus $325 to Democrat Daniel Hynes on October 6, 2004 and $950 to Joseph Lieberman on September 18, 2003. Running Tally: $4242 Democratic Party, $5863 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1621.
17. David R. Christ of Oley, PA gave $750 to Republican Arlen Specter in 2003 and 2004, plus $1200 to Republican Tim Holden from 1998 to 2004. Running Tally: $4242 Democratic Party, $7813 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3571.
18. Delanson Christ of Washington, DC gave $1000 to John Kerry on June 30, 2004. Running Tally: $5242 Democratic Party, $7813 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $2571.
19. Dennis Christ of Blue Bell, PA gave $1000 to Democrat Bill Luther in his Congressional campaigns from 1998 to 2000. Running Tally: $6242 Democratic Party, $7813 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1571.
20. Donna Christ of Macomb, MI gave $500 to Republican Nick Smith on May 20, 1998 and $1000 to Republican Spencer Abraham on October 14, 2000. Running Tally: $6242 Democratic Party, $9313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3071.
21. Elaine Christ of Santa Barbara, CA gave $200 to Democratic congressional candidate Lois Capps on September 12, 1998. Running Tally: $6442 Democratic Party, $9313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $2871.
22. Fred Christ of Berkeley, CA gave $250 to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards on February 6, 2004. Running Tally: $6692 Democratic Party, $9313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $2621.
22. Glenn Christ of Kensington, CA gave $1000 to Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry on July 22, 2004. Running Tally: $7692 Democratic Party, $9313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1621.
23. Grace Christ of New York City gave $250 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee on October 5, 2002. Running Tally: $7942 Democratic Party, $9313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $1371.
24. Harold Christ of Gold Canyon, AZ gave $500 to Republican congressman J.D. Hayworth on November 5, 1998, and $1000 to George W. Bush on November 21, 2003. Running Tally: $7942 Democratic Party, $10813 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $2871.
25. John Christ of New York City gave $1000 to Democratic senatorial candidate Chuck Schumer on November 15, 2000, $250 to Democratic congressional candidate Jamie Metzl on May 6, 2004 and $1000 to George W. Bush on January 21, 2004. Running Tally: $8942 Democratic Party, $12063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3121.
26. John Christ, resident of an undisclosed town in Kansas, gave $1000 to Republican congressional candidate Kris Kobach on September 30, 2003. Running Tally: $8942 Democratic Party, $13063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $4121.
27. John C. Christ, resident of Indianapolis, IN, gave $250 to Democratic congressional candidate Julia Carson on October 26, 2002. Running Tally: $9192 Democratic Party, $13063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3871.
28. John Michael Christ, also resident of Indianapolis, IN, gave $300 to Democrat Evan Bayh on November 26, 1997, and $500 to Democrat Bill Bradley on July 28, 1999. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $130633 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3071.
29. Katherine Christ of Apache Junction, AZ, gave $250 to Republican John Thune on March 30, 2004. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $13313 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3321.
30. Keith Christ of Choctaw, OK gave $200 to the Republican National Committee on October 30, 2000 and $250 to Republican Gary Bauer on June 8, 1999. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $13763 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $3771.
31. Kirk Christ of Diamond Bar, CA gave $1000 to the Republican Bill Jones on July 27, 2004. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $14763 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $4771.
32. Leslie Christ of Tamarac, FL gave $300 to the National Republican Congressional Committee on September 25, 2003. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $15063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $5071.
33. Lilly Christ of Fincastle, VA gave $300 to the Republican Bob Barr on June 28, 1999, and $200 to the National Republican Senatorial Committee on June 16, 1997. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $15563 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $5571.
34. Malinda Christ of Saint Louis, MO gave $500 to the Republican National Committee during the year 2000. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $16063 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6071.
35. Mark Christ of Tamaqua, PA gave $250 to the Republican Federal Committee of Pennsylvania on January 24, 2005 and $700 to the Republican National Committee during the years of 2003 and 2005. Running Tally: $9992 Democratic Party, $17013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $7021.
35. Mercedes Christ of Milltown, NJ gave $300 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee on March 2, 2004. Running Tally: $10292 Democratic Party, $17013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6721.
36. Michael P. Christ of Santa Rosa, CA gave $1000 to George W. Bush on March 31, 1999. Running Tally: $10292 Democratic Party, $18013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $7721.
37. Mike Christ of Chicago, IL gave $500 to John Kerry on July 28, 2004, and $250 to Barack Obama on September 27, 2004. Running Tally: $11042 Democratic Party, $18013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6971.
37. Mirian Christ of Kenilworth, IL gave $1000 to Republican John Cox on February 8, 2000. Running Tally: $11042 Democratic Party, $19013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $7971.
38. Monica Christ of Springfield, IL gave $1000 to the Democratic Party of Illinois on June 14, 1999. Running Tally: $12042 Democratic Party, $19013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6971.
39. Nina Christ of Grand Junction, CO gave $500 to the Republican “Greg Walcher for Congress” campaign during the year 2003. Running Tally: $12042 Democratic Party, $19513 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $7471.
40. Penny Christ of Owensboro, KY gave $500 to the Republican National Committee during the year 2004. Running Tally: $12042 Democratic Party, $20013 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $7971.
41. Rodney Christ of Grand Junction, CO gave $250 to Republican Pete Coors and $1000 to Republican Greg Walcher during the years 2003 and 2004. Running Tally: $12042 Democratic Party, $21263 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $9221.
42. Roxanne Christ of Pasadena, CA gave $1000 to Democrat John Kerry in the year 2004 and $2000 to Democrat Wesley Clark during the year 2003. Running Tally: $15042 Democratic Party, $21263 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6221.
43. Scott Christ of Kalamazoo, MI gave $700 to Democrat Howard Dean in the years 2003 and 2004. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $21263 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $5521.
44. Susan Christ of Carmel, IN gave $1200 to the Indiana Republican State Central Committee on June 12, 2003. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $22463 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $6721.
45. Thomas Christ of Macomb, MI gave $1500 to Republican Spencer Abraham in the years 1999 and 2000, and gave $500 to Republican Nick Smith on May 20, 1998. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $23963 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $8221.
46. William Christ of Buffalo, NY gave $500 to Republican Thomas Reynolds on June 8, 2000. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $24463 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $8721.
47. William Christ of Metamora, IL gave $200 to Republican Ray LaHood on August 24, 2004. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $24663 Republican Party. Result so far: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $8921.
48. William H. Christ of Baltimore, MD gave $500 to Republican Ray LaHood on August 24, 2004. Running Tally: $15742 Democratic Party, $25163 Republican Party.
Final Result: Christ Votes Republican by a margin of $9421.
So, if we assume that votes follow contributions, Christ does tend to vote Republican. This is good to know, at least in a first pass at understanding. However, such a result is somewhat oversimplistic, reducing to a constant what we can really see is a variable. Although we can expect Christ to vote Republican more often than not, there will be times when we ought to expect Christ to vote Democrat. Once this is acknowledged, the prescriptive value of our conclusion becomes more questionable at the level of political implementation. How will a voter know when "Voting With Christ" means voting Republican, and when "Voting With Christ" means voting Democrat? The theological conundrum is staggering.
Fortunately, this conundrum can be resolved by teasing out geographically-specific information about Christ's voting tendencies state-by-state. The following graph shows in which states Christ votes Republican (colored red), in which states Christ votes Democrat (colored blue), and in which states Christ's vote cannot be determined using FEC data (colored tan):

This map provides, for a large portion of the population of the continental United States, a useful guide on how to Vote With Christ depending on residence. Clip and share!
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Irregular Times Presents...
“Vote With Christ” — An Empirical Guide
