You know, there are times when family's round near the only thing a person's got to hold onto. Then again, there are times when family works the other way too, just about the last thing you'd ever want to lay eyes on. We had ourselves a case in point on this one right here in Sydeville this month, smack in the middle of of town at the Denzer family reunion.
Lucinda Denzer and her oldest boy James had been working toward the reunion ever since New Year's, when they first set on the idea of getting the clan back together. The date was set for June 16, the day after the last day of school and all, so they were expecting some high spirits, but not quite as high as they turned out to be. The turnout was pretty good, considerin' the sky was a bit cloudy and cool, but the tablecloths weren't the only things that were taken out of the closet, if you know what I mean.
It started out with Lucinda's brother Charlie, who moved down to Alabama about ten years ago - said that things down there were changing slower than they were up here, right here in Sydeville, mind you. Well, Charlie's never been the one to keep an opinion to himself, so as he was reading an old newspaper that cousin Frank from over in High Creek had used to pack the good plates, Charlie made mention that he didn't think much of gays being made teachers in public schools. Something about morals and good examples, he said.
Now, you and I both know that folks like the Denzers don't take much pride in a quiet kitchen table, and it wasn't long before Frank's kids, Jennie and Sam, bit down on that bait harder than a sunfish in the shallows. Jennie just started college, and she talked about some socialogy she learned, and Sam just told him straight to shut up. Soon enough it weren't so easy to tell that reunion from a Jennie Jones show. Charlie wouldn't back off no matter anything, and wanted to know what made them care so much about homosexuals anyway.
Well, Jennie let on that her boyfriend was a bisexual, though he hadn't never done nothing bout it. Uncle Charlie went on about the gay lobby for awhile, but then he was interrupted by Tom Denzel, a cousin of someone or other through a second marriage or somethin like that. Tom, of course, took over Jimmy's Bait Shack down on the bay a couple years back. Now, I know that the news is already out around town, which is why I don't feel bad spreadin' it on here in print: Tom told the whole family then and there that he was gay and had been for three years and that if Charlie had a problem with people like him being a teacher then he could make his way off to Alabama.
So, looks like there won't be another Denzer family reunion for awhile, which is a shame, given that the Bowling Alley hasn't done so much business in years. You figure the dollars brought in by all the family reunions we'll have this summer, and it comes ought to be pretty darned high. Maybe there should be some kinda tourist office for family reunions in the town hall. On the other hand, you can't make a pickle by dipping a cucumber in a glass of lemonade, as my Great Aunt Margaret used to say. Certainly don't want to encourage the kind of disturbance poor Lucinda had do endure, do we? Or do we? Well, there's certainly no other way to tackle the thorny issue of gay teachers in our public schools, is there? On the other hand, I'm not sure whether we have any gay teachers or perhaps we do.
Well, I've got myself lost on this one. Exactly what kind of sex lives do teachers have anyway. I never really could tell much about my teachers' sexual orientationaries when I was at Sydeville Elementary. Kinda makes me wonder which one of my teachers was the strongest sexual role model for me, and for the rest of us for that matter.
Okay, then. I'll be thinkin' on this one until next time. Why don't you readers help me out. Write in and tell me which one of the Sydeville Public School teachers was the greatest influence on your sexual orientation and general social morality and in what way. I'll publish the most interesting letters, so long as they're not too specific - got to keep it safe for families, you know.