Last week we had ourselfs what you might call a little bit of an eckumenical conference down in the fire hall. That's where the local branch of the Primitive Episcopalian Church of the Lake is meeting until they get their own building moved back from the edge of the gorge, which has been eroding away for a good many years now - ever since the State came in and told us that we couldn't dump our rubbish their no more. Well, that's the environment for you!
Seems our local Primitive Episcopalian community, which includes mostly the Farzolo clan and their cousins, has been having a bit of a disagreement with the more mainstream Episcopalians about whether spanking our kids is the right thing to do. Well, they was fightin' so hard that they was about to do a little of that corpral punishment on each other, if you know what I mean. So, Mrs. Jean Farzolo, Judith's mom, suggested that they all bring in a parenting expert to settle the matter once and for all. They called around for a while, but couldn't find anyone until Herb Denton, that's Jean's nephew, mentioned a friend of his who works at the Science Center over in Watertown by the name of Franklin Spencer. Turns out that Mr. Spencer once taught grade school all the way down in Poughkipsie and was willing to come on down and hold a seminar for just a $50 honerareum (that's probably his gas money and a sandwich down at the Village Restaurant).
So, Mr. Spencer came in and started his little talk. First, he explained his job at the Science Center, and even brought in a stuffed Great Horned Owl. Jim Farzolo, who works in his spare time as a taxedermist for local hunters, was very interested in the owl, and got to have a first hand look!
Then, Mr. Spencer got down to business, said that he didn't think it was the business of Episcopals to go around getting in arguments about what the Bible says about spanking when its already clear to everyone that the Bible thinks kids in public schools should be paddled. Then, he said that he had been spanked at home and at school as a kid, and it never did him no harm.
That's when Herb's wife Marie stood up and interuppted Mr. Spencer. Now, what you got to know is that last October, when Marie was helping Herbert load some cut wood into the back of their pickup, the emergency brake went off and the truck ran over her toes. She spent a couple hours at the minor medical clinic up on Lake Street after that, I can tell you. Well, now Marie told Mr. Spencer that she got her toes run over by a truck and she turned out to be all right, but that doesn't mean that getting run over is good for you.
Well, they say that an apple peeled too careful ain't nothing but a core, and that's how Jean felt about what Marie said, and she said so. The meeting broke up pretty quick and was the talk downtown at the Coffee Shoppe for the afternoon. Jean and Marie aren't talking to eachother at all now, and no one's quite sure what to do with their kids at all. Know what? The kids seem to be doing fine all the same, even though no one's remembering to holler at 'em or swat at 'em. Looks to be that all that spanking never did no good anyhow.
Funny thing, I never could find that spare the rod line in the Bible. That goes to show you what you get from shoveling your driveway after an April blizzard. Sometimes, folks, it's just time that makes things right. (Don't tell that to the folks camped next to the old Primitive Episcopalian Church of the Lake, though. Big rains tonight might just add more rubbish to the gorge than those state officials are counting on, if you know what I mean.