Some of our irregular readers have had the temerity and disloyalty to suggest that the war against Iraq is not quite over yet. What?!? Haven't they seen all the flags flying? Haven't they seen lots of pictures of tanks and bombs on Fox News?
Here's how I know that the war is over in Iraq.
- American soldiers are killed every day.
- Iraqi soldiers are killed every day.
- Iraqi civilians are killed every day.
- Donald Rumsfeld says he doesn't know when the violence will end.
- The United States occupying authorities will not allow United Nations observers into the country.
- The Americans install a new dictator every few weeks.
- There are no plans for democratic elections.
- Saddam Hussein has not yet been found.
- Air Force One will fly over Iraq, but the plane can't touch down in the country for "security reasons".
- The Republicans are still inventing new reasons for an invasion of Iraq when the old ones stop making sense.
- George W. Bush is still insisting that the "evidence" that's been revealed as fake is not the real "evidence" for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The real "evidence", he says, has to remain secret, for "security reasons".
That ought to convince all you doubting Thomases. What a relief it is that the war in Iraq is over, and we can put it all behind us!
Now, where to send our armies next?
Now that everything's all hunky and dory in Iraq, take a glance at some more Magniloquence Against War
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